Thursday, 20 April 2017

Nine Lives (2016) - review

What is this? Laughter? Am I chuckling at this movie? This film that has a woeful 11% on Rotten Tomatoes? Oh my, I think I am. But I thought Nine Lives was a "bad" movie? Well, it can't be as bad as an Adam Sandler movie, can it? Why am I even watching this? I don't know!

You may of heard of Nine Lives, last years Movie 43, where popular actors were made to work in a shit movie for purely contractual reasons. Kevin Spacey, more known nowadays for playing the ruthless Frank Underwood in House of Cards, plays a Richard Branson-esque business man whose too distracted by the building of his latest project to pay attention to his family, especially his young daughter, played by Malina Weissman. Jennifer Garner plays his innocuous wife. As a special treat for the audience, Christopher Walken plays a crazy cat man in his typical, slightly creepy fashion.

The plot is predictable. Mark Consuelos plays a dastardly senior manager in Spacey's company, who instigates the event that causes Spacey to embody the cat he buys for his daughters birthday. Yes, there's cliched dialogue and twists, and lots of goofy moments from the CGI cat to make the younger members of the audience laugh. But then there's also a suicide plot that they don't switch until the last moment. Are they trying to give these kids a fucking heart attack!?

While people lament the waste of the films talent, they at least provide competent skills and drama when its needed, and are entertaining distraction for the adults watching. Its a bit like watching Helen Mirren and Charlize Theron relax into their cockney dame/60s Bond villain roles in Fast & Furious 8, except Nine Lives takes itself less seriously. This is not the terrible film that the press disparaged, and it certainly doesn't go into the insultingly stupid route of many cheap kids films. Barry Sonnenfeld's Nine Lives is an absurd but painless movie that I didn't even rage once at.



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