Friday, 7 February 2014

Sexy Monsters - I, Frankenstein Review

Monsters have a always had an appeal to them, whether as metaphor for aspects or our existence, or simply to scare ourselves, these modern myths will always have a place within our story telling world. One of the main things I personally love about these monsters, and I'm referring to the Universal Monsters and all that have come after, is that they look scary. They're ugly, they look, weird, unsettling. You just have to look at a character like Nosferatu and think, somehow, I know I shouldn't trust him...

Unfortunately nowadays, the trend is to not be scared of monsters, but to sex them up. This has come primarily from the success of the Twilight books, where Edward Cullen is not a blood thirsty evil vampire, but instead a glittery mopey one, intent on controlling his desires onto his prey - sorry - girlfriend Bella Swan. The effect of having an approachable vampire, as oppose to one with hair on the palms of his hands, is that you get millions of (mainly) young girls flocking to cinema to pay for expensive seats, then forking out for DVD's, books, posters, etc. To date, the Twilight quadrilogy has made over $3 billion.

The trend has continued; Twilight also brought us sexy werewolves, Warm Bodies brought us sexy zombies, and now, we have a sexy Monster in I, Frankenstein. If there is anything we know about Frankenstein's monster, it is that he is the antithesis of sexy. He is a massive, looming hulk, made from body parts of various different criminals, and part of the reason why Victor Frankenstein tries to destroy him that the Monster looks evil. In I, Frankenstein, the monster, apparently made from eight different people, clearly doesn't look that way. As you'll see in the photo at the top of this article, there's not even any change in skin tone. The only thing they've done to make him look stitched together is literally draw some feeble scars across him. Even the (female) scientist in the film looks at him with more than a hint of lust.

But hey, why stop at just vampire's, zombies and The Monster, lets sex up all of the classic monsters. Above is a drawing I made of a glamed up Creature from the Black Lagoon. Surely that's due for a remake? Or how about a sexed up Blob, with some massive wobbly tits providing a pillow for a certain young man... Yeah, I've taken it to ridiculous extremes, but to be honest this is where I see it going. The I, Frankenstein film showed a complete ignorance for the book it was based on, but as the film is a 12A, I wonder how many of its target audience have actually read the book, let alone seen the brilliant James Whales films from the 1930's?

In an attempt to cash on on the fanatical tendencies of the tween market, they are sanitising these monsters so much that they are squeezing out the very essence of what makes these characters interesting. In the case of Frankenstein, you don't need to make him 'more human' for him to be relatable. If you know anything about the story, then you know that it was Victor Frankenstein who was the real monster...

Listen to our review of I, Frankenstein via the player below, or you can subscribe to us on iTunes.


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