Tuesday, 31 December 2013

His and Hers Top 5 Worst Films of the Year

As we have put out our podcast today for some of our favourite things in cinema this year, we thought it was only fitting to end the year on some of the worst films that have been released this year. Yes, sometimes it is good to point out the bad stuff, if only to appreciate the good stuff that much more. Bad films like Grown Ups 2, Riddick, and Hummingbird aren't on the list, but, trust me, the top five are truly awful. This list includes films that we've reviewed on the blog as well as in our podcast.

5. Prisoners

A perfect example of great trailer, bad film. It proposed itself a heart-stopping thriller where Jake Gyllanhal's character has a short amount of time to find two girls that have gone missing, one of them being Hugh Jackman's characters. In reality, it is a slow and dumb drama with the kind of predictable bad guys that even Midsomer Murders would find too silly. With the explanation for the disappearances completely unexplained and with a laughable ending, all the tension this film builds up in the first third is decimated with a script that has no faith in itself.

4. Oldboy

Although we all knew that Spike Lee's Oldboy remake was going to be no where near as good as Park Chan-wook's exceptional original film, we didn't realise it was going to be this soul distressingly despicable. The script for this film took out all of the most interesting elements of the original, sanitised the bad guy with industrial bleach, and made all of the actors look ridiculous (which is quite sad really, because they all thought they where making a good film). The worst thing we fear is that this silly interpretation, a needless Americanisation, is that it will stop people searching out for the original film, which makes us very sad indeed.

3. The Impossible

When this film came out, it made both of us very angry indeed. While a film about the horrendous Boxing Day tsunami is not bad in itself, a movie that shows it from the view point of a rich white family, where (spoilers) they all survive and live happily ever after, is frankly a kick in the teeth to the hundreds of thousands of native people that were killed and displaced in the actual disaster. The problem with this film is that it is a cynical attempt at making money out of a disaster, and believing that people will only want to see the film if they can "identify" with the characters (this was a British and Spanish funded film). Although I don't disparage the awful things that the family who inspired this film went through, I also don't believe it is acceptable to ignore the fact that this was a massive humanitarian disaster that effected more than four people.

2. Sharknado

This film went from being consciously bad to just plain shit. A made for TV film for the the Syfy network, this film courted notoriety when the infamous Sharknado poster, with its laugh-out-loud sharks photoshopped onto a tornado (did the poster come before the film?), started making its rounds around the internet. The films premier on the network was so successful that they decided to release it on DVD. This indeed was a black day for humanity, as it showed that if people say they like something, even if it is meant to be ironic, the shit movie companies will make them. They're already made Avalanche Sharks people. Shame on you.

Read our review of it here.

1. Evil Dead

Our number one worst film of the year is the top of an upsetting trend for Hollywood to remake classic films because they can't plough their money into a project they don't think is going to be a sure-fire hit. It doesn't even have to be good, it just has to make you nostalgic/interested enough to hand over your hard earned pay to the teenager in the ticket booth. Evil Dead seemed promising, but it was spoiled by the trappings of contemporary horror films; the bright colours of the original where replaced with grungy mud staining, the humour completely not existent, the terror being more jump-scare than horrifying, the characters completely unlikable, and the ending, FUCK THAT ENDING! A truly bad film, unnecessarily made, but a sad signifier for the future of cinema.

Well we hope that you've liked our little list, and let us know if you disagree or agree with it, or indeed believe we've missed some out. Don't forget to listen to our End of Year Award Show that's out now, via the link on the right or through iTunes. Happy new year everybody!

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